


TF2 Headcanons & One-Shots

by Kebabra



Category: Team Fortress 2
Genre: Birds, Blood and Injury, Character Death, Comfort, Cuddling, F/F, F/M, Fluff, Gore, Gun Violence, Healthy Relationships, Mild Gore, Nicknames, Slow Updates, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, don’t let the tf2 fandom die out, updates are gonna be slow!!, will be updated as much as possible
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-16
Updated: 2021-01-20
Packaged: 2021-03-05 06:02:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 5
Words: 6,331
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25319503
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kebabra/pseuds/Kebabra
Summary: A bunch of Headcanons and sometimes One-Shots from my Tumblr! Contains some mentions of gore and will mention character death probably sometime in the future.Explicit gore will have a warning at the beginning.Please stay safe! These are some tough times.
Relationships: Engineer (Team Fortress 2)/Reader, Heavy (Team Fortress 2)/Reader, Medic (Team Fortress 2)/Reader, Scout (Team Fortress 2)/Reader, Sniper (Team Fortress 2)/Reader, Soldier (Team Fortress 2)/Reader, Spy (Team Fortress 2)/Reader
Comments: 9
Kudos: 156





	1. TF2 Mercs W/a Short S/O

**Author's Note:**

> My Tumblr if you want to request!: https://kebabra.tumblr.com/

Scout  
• “Ayyy shortie.”

• Be prepared for relentless teasing from this Bostonian. He might make fun of it out on the battlefield and in front of the other mercenaries, but when you two are alone, it’s a completely different story.

• He ADORES how short you are, and loves being the big spoon! He enjoys resting his chin on your head and giving you forehead kisses. He thinks you’re the cutest little lady.

• If you’ve ever felt hurt by something he said in his whirlwind of teasing, when you two are alone he makes it up tenfold by apologizing a million times over and then telling you everything he loves about you.

• Calls you “Girly,” “Spinner,” “Shortie,” “Sweetness,” and many other nicknames. He never runs out of them.

• If you play video games, Scout will bombard you with questions about your favourite genres. He is more into shooting games like The Evil Dead and Wolfenstein, but he’s always up to try different genres of games!

• Wear his shirts. He loves it a lot!!

• Will teach you Boston slang and secretly hopes you’ll use it someday.

• “Shut it, you knuckle-dragger!”

“That’s my spinnah!”

Soldier  
• Will put his elbow on your head without question. Sometimes he does it without realizing it.

• Puts you on his shoulders so you can see better. He usually does this with no warning. He has tried to rocket jump with you on his shoulders. No, it didn’t end well.

• Calls you “Cupcake.”

• Tells you the story about how he was covered in honey, once. He’ll tell you all kinds of stories, out of the blue, and when you ask.

• Soldier is very quick to react and often doesn’t think about things before actually doing them. This gets you both in stupid but hilarious situations, and it makes you love him even more.

• Always calls you a “PROUD AMERICAN!”

• Blasts the Star-Spangled Banner sometimes.

• likes being the little spoon with you and is always careful when holding you. He loves picking you up and carrying you! Let him do it!

• Loves it when you wear his dumb hat.

• Loves hand-holding. He loves how small your hands are!

Heavy  
• “Little girl.”

• likes it when you are the “big” spoon! He loves it when you kiss him and hug him. It makes him happy and lets him relax. He does love when he’s the big spoon, though! He loves holding you close to him protectively while also making sure he doesn’t squish you.

• Lots and lots of bear hugs. He lifts you every time.

• Also lifts you so you can see things better, and get items off the tallest shelf. He never makes fun of you for it, for he doesn’t want you to feel less for being so short. He loves you the way you are!

• Loves it when you accompany him to the local book store. He will choose a book he thinks you’ll like and loves sharing small bits and pieces of info on said book. You both have stayed up late into the night reading books before.

• You are the only one that can touch Sasha.

• You are also the only one that can eat his sandwich. This comes with complaints from Scout.

• Willing to teach you some Russian if you want to learn! He understands that Russian is difficult, and is very patient with you and is a very good teacher!

Engineer

• This Texan is SO relieved that there is someone shorter than him, now! No offence of course, but he loves how short you are!

• If you’re almost the same height as him, he enjoys switching spoons. He can go either way, partner!

• Calls you, “Buttercup,” “Sweet Pea,” “Sugarcube,” “Honeybee,” and all kinds of southern nicknames!

• He cannot help you reach the highest shelves because he, too, cannot reach them. You both suffer together until either Medic, Heavy, or Sniper come in to assist.

• Will teach you how to repair his sentries and many other gadgets. He loves sharing his information with you and loves it even more if you’re interested. It’s okay if not, though! He appreciates you listening, anyway.

• Will sometimes sing an old song to lure you to sleep. He will also play his guitar for you sometimes.

• Will whisper sweet sayings into your ear with that sweet Texan accent. He loves it when you become flustered.

• “YEEHAW.”

Medic  
• A complete LUNATIC

• He loves you, and his birds of course, with all of his heart. He has even suggested ripping out his heart and giving it to you. You politely declined.

• likes it if Archimedes likes you; if he does, he will sit on your head during surgeries. He will even do his little “mating dance” when you talk into the room. This earns that “Ohoohoo!” laugh from Medic.

• Likes to stay up late and work on projects. You have to force him to sleep most of the time. When he does sleep, however, he is always the big spoon. He declines even thinking about being the little spoon.

• “I shall not be what jou call ze, “little zpoon” with jou, miene liebe, if it meanz I cannot hold jou at night. Verabscheuungswürdig!”

• Will play his violin/accordion to you if you want to hear it. He loves it when you ask!

• Wear his lab coats. He will SWOON.

• Loves it when you caress his face and rub his scalp. He lets out little purrs and hums and during these times he truly looks, and feels, that he is at ease.

• Will probably never tell you about the whole, “sold his soul to the Devil,” thing. He will also never tell you about the demon inside his head. He knows not to listen to it, especially when it comes to you, his Schatz!

• Shows you how to hold his birds the right way. (The Hamburger Hold)

• Secretly loves The Hobbit and The Lord of The Rings. He loves books, too! However he never really liked Harry Potter. He does strictly believe he’s a Ravenclaw, though!

• He will kiss your knuckles and purposely rub his face into your hand like a cat. This man lacks attention.

• The way he does surgery on you doesn’t change, other than injecting you with a small amount of numbing medicine and Archimedes proudly sitting on your face.

Sniper  
• “Oi, Shelia. How’s the weather down there?”

• Truly a very long and lanky man.

• Doesn’t like it that much when you call him “Grand Daddy Long Leg,” but it grew on him after some time.

• He doesn’t understand how you drink coffee with that much bloody creamer in it. Holy Dooley!

• Calls you lots of Australian nicknames and uses a lot of slang you force him to recite more than twice to fully understand it. He secretly thinks it’s really funny.

• Loves wrapping his long arms and legs around you protectively and giving you kisses all around your face and neck. He knows the big spoon position was made for him.

• Loves when he teaches you how to snipe. He’s surprisingly a very patient man and knows what he’s doing.

• Enjoys teaching you Australian slang and how to use it effectively. He relaxes knowing he can be himself around you.

• He wants to take you to Australia to see his mum and dad, and so you can see all that Australia has to offer.

• Loves road trips. He enjoys just sitting in the same area as you and knowing that you are safe, and always will be, with him right by your side.

• This man seriously lacks attention. Any kind of loveable touch sends him into overdrive. Caressing his face, kissing his face, rubbing his arms and dragging your nails softly against his skin. It all drives him mad with love. He loves that you are so bloody affectionate; he tries to do the same back to you.

• He will grab your hips softly, and squeeze the flesh, kiss your face and whisper into your ear how happy you make him feel, poke and prod around at your ticklish spots just to get a small laugh out of you, caress your scalp, and even more than that. He loves you with all of his beings. He never wants to lose you.

~

Verabscheuungswürdig!: Despicable!

Spinner/Spinnah: A very sexy woman.

Knuckle-dragger: A stupid or loutish person.

Shelia: A woman.


	2. Medic with an S/O

• At the beginning of the relationship he was very hesitant. Is this going to ruin his work? Void his focus? How was he going to spend time with you when he has all these organs to seperate and bodies to experiment on? It seemed impossible to him. 

• Until he realised that he was work fanatic, he didn’t spend much time with you. Staying up until four o’clock in the morning organizing organs, feeding his birds, and testing weird liquids was his forte, he didn’t want anything more. Until you came, of course.

• Although he doesn’t seem like it, he’s a very caring lover. When he does sleep with you he loves sleeping on top of you, his head laying on your stomach and his hands intertwined with yours, rubbing the knuckles slowly. He treats you like glass. 

• Lots n’ Lots of jokes about death and organs. He might even slip a joke about the Devil in there sometimes. He’s very goofy and crazy, what do you expect? 

• Medic has to travel sometimes, especially when on missions that require his immediate assistance. He leaves you to take care of Archimedes and the rest of his fat marshmallows. 

• His doves can and will sit on you. Archimedes perches on your head while the rest perch all over your arms and shoulders. Medic has like 8 of these guys and they all require immediate loving attention.

• He likes poking and prodding you when you’re asleep. Testing your reflexes is very important! He loves rubbing your face and observing your reaction. 

• Medic is not one for sexual activity. The most he had done was making out with you while cutting you open to preform the Übercharge surgery, and that was because you were freaking out. Modern problems require modern solutions! 

• Sings to you in German. He has a great voice, surprisingly.

• Has some of the best hugs once he’s comfortable with you!

• He will play music in the medbay sometimes. Asks you frequently to dance with him, they are usually slow dances where you step on his feet, apologise profusely, and watch him laugh at you.

• Will play with your hair. Will also do daily checkups, checking that your hair is in good shape. He loves running his hand through your hair, short or long. He tugs it sometimes to get an annoyed reaction from you.

• Loud dad sneezes that scare the shit out of you. 

• He falls asleep on you sometimes. When he sleeps he sleeps heavily. He’s very heavy and will squish you. 

• Runs his fingers up and down your arms to relax you. Also does this with your scalp and will massage the top of your nose and forehead. 

• Plays with your pressure points to get a laugh. 

• Sometimes at the dinner table Medic will make goofy expressions just to make you laugh. The other mercs are either annoyed or think it’s cute.

• Generally just a really goofy man that loves messing with you and doing surgery on you, claiming that you have the best body of the Mercs. Protects you at all costs and will use his birds as your bodyguards. 

• Nicknames include: Schatz, Taube, Liebe, Frau, Fraulien, and Sweetness in private. There are also some other english nicknames like Honey.


	3. Spah with an S/O

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Spah!!!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally finished!! It’s almost 2 in the morning and I’m exhausted. Hope you enjoy these headcanons of mine!!
> 
> Scout is next!

Spy With an S/O

• When he first developed feelings for you, he shoved them off and ignored them. He deemed himself incapable of love. 

• That all changed when one night, on a boys night out, Spy got a little too drunk and declared his feelings for you, leaving you shocked.

• The next day was filled with uncanny questions and desires. After what felt like five hours of talking and announced feelings, you both willingly became a secluded couple. 

• Spy keeps the relationship a secret and only shows his true love behind closed doors. In his smoking room, expect showers of kisses and very affectionate cuddles. 

• He means nothing by it. He loves you unconditionally, but he feels he has to keep his “cool cat” persona. However he loves locking shoulders and small pecks to the cheek when out in public. 

• Buys you a whole lot of expensive items. He feels that this is one of the best ways to show his affection. It makes him super giddy and soft when you wear what he has bought you. 

• This man hasn’t been in a true relationship in years, and is very touch starved. He loves hugging your waist and kissing you over and over again. In private, of course. 

• Smells like very expensive, but good smelling cologne. 

• He refuses to smoke around you. Probably cares less if you don’t care about the smoke, but still mostly keeps it away. If he does smoke around you, it has no tobacco and instead has a very pleasing fruit smell. 

• He only dresses comfortably around you. Exceptions are his long coat, which you wear all the time. He loves it. 

• Very good kisser. Will quite actually take your breath away. 

• 10/10 protective boyo. Will give the deathliest death glare at anyone who dares to attempt to sway you or flirt with you. This rarely happens, though. 

• Loves when you both take bubble baths together!

• 100% a cuddler in bed. Will grab you and hold you tight. Loves it more when you hold him! Spy is a little spoon!

• Calls you cute little french names in private and often uses them in other activities. 

• Make outs during matches? You bet, but nobody ever gives a passing glance. His invisiwatch comes in handy. 

• Spy will never admit this, but he often disguises as other teammates to test your loyalty to him. He understands it isn’t the best thing to do, but this man is super anxious, and feels this is the only way to ensure that you love him and much as he loves you.

• Mental breakdowns happen occasionally. You’re the only one other than Medic that can calm him down. Usually rubbing his shoulders or whispering encouragement/loving words to him helps him calm down. Still very shaky and jittery. He might even stab you accidentally, but never on purpose. 

• Puts his chin on your head and falls asleep there sometimes.

• Sitting together and reading a book happens all the time. He loves if you rant about your favourite book, and even gives suggestions on what book to read next.

• You’re the only one that has seen Spy without his balaclava. He is very self conscious about his face. There are tan lines on his face from where only certain parts of his features show outside the mask. 

• His eyes are a beautiful blue and his hair is long an slightly messy. His hair colour is black with some greying. Adores when you rub his scalp and run your fingers through his hair. His hair can be greasy sometimes, though. 

• Has a huge fish tank in his smoking room that you both sit beside and rest while looking at; He bought your favourite fish and has a seperate tank for the salt water ones. 

• Has a pair of reading glasses you steal as a prank sometimes. 

• Would love to teach you French words and sentences so you both can speak in french without anyone knowing what the conversation is about. 

• Loves you so much you have no clue. He loves protecting you and acting like a mad macho man in front of you. He loves looking intimidating. 

• You both sleep together every night. The cuddles never end.


	4. Christmas Headcanons

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the lack of updates! School and Corona has been kicking my ass and life is hard at the moment. Enjoy these Christmas head-canons, albeit a bit late.

Scout

• This boys’ motor is running 24/7. Snowball fights? Hell yeah! Making figures in the snow? Yeah! Anything goes.

• He even managed to drag Medic and Heavy into it. The snowball fight lasted for hours on end. Medic ended up winning, to Scouts surprise.

• After almost freezing to death, making hot cocoa was the new objective. You both made those cute little hot cocoa bombs for the whole team to try. They are all decorated to match the mercs. 

• Everyone sat by an open fire, drinking their hot cocoa and listening to Christmas music. Occasionally, they would all listen to music from the mercenaries different countries. 

• You, however, had already fallen sleep in Scouts’ lap, resting your head in his shoulder. Whenever anyone asked Scout to do anything else that day, he’d reply with: “Ya see Princess right here? She’s sleepin’. Go botha someone else, alright pally?” 

• Ugly Sweaters unite. Medic made all of them for everyone. Your sweater has birds on it while Scouts has trees. When you asked him about the reasoning behind the designs, he replied with: “A partridge in a pear tree, ja?” 

• You smacked him lightly on the shoulder and called him a dork. You thanked him for the sweaters immediately afterward.

• Cuddling beside an open fire and sleeping on each other, only to be waking up in a twist tied position and horrible back pain. 

• Enjoys decorating the Christmas tree with you. He requested Spy to create an ornament for you that you can put on the tree. Spy forged a nice little Fleur-De-Lis ornament that Scout ended up loving and giving to you immediately. 

Soldier

• Loves Christmas with a passion and always calls it a true American holiday. 

• Makes a snowman with you and puts his military hat on it. Also gives it a shotgun. Calls it private. 

• His sweater from Medic has snowflakes on it. He loves it. 

• Rocket Jumps even in the snow. Often puts you on his shoulders and rocket jumps with you. This usually never turns out well.

• Makes cookies with you but keeps trying to eat the dough. Will hug you from behind as you mix the batter.

• Lots of face kisses while you  
both are cuddling. Always calls you his “cupcake” and then smothers you in a bone crushing hug. 

• You often sleep on him. He doesn’t mind at all. Actually finds it adorable and will carry you to bed.

• Watching the snow fall outside and leaning on each other.

• Snowball fights with Scout if he feels like it. He usually wins because he throws so hard it could dent metal. Medic and Heavy dislike playing with him, but do so anyway because you definitely don’t beg them to play.

• Really likes gingerbread and will attempt to make some for you. He’s actually not a bad baker!

• He hardly plays Christmas music. Star Spangled Banner all the way. Although he does occasionally play “Rockin Around The Christmas Tree.”

Demoman

• When he’s not drunk off his ass, he has a lot of fun during Christmas time. He celebrated Hogmanay back in Scotland with his mother before he had moved to America, and honestly he still participates in a lot of traditions from Scotland’s version of Christmas and he absolutely loves to share them with you. 

• He loves fixing the mercs Yule bread, an old Scottish tradition. He sneaks a trinket in a loaf and whoever finds it in their bread supposedly will be blessed with good luck for the year. You’re usually the one that gets the trinket but there have been times where others have gotten it.

• He loves decorating the Christmas tree with you, and makes small sticky bomb decorations for the tree that glow at night. 

• He even forged a peg-leg Christmas topper that you sometimes put on top of the tree. 

• Creates bomb related sweets and cake pops. They are usually made with dark chocolate, but some mercs request different flavours of chocolate. He gladly makes any flavour sticky cake bombs. 

• Informs you about Scottish Hogmanay cultures every Christmas. He enjoys talking about his culture and country. He especially loves it if you’re interested. 

• Usually always sobers up over Christmas, and has sobered up even more after Christmas thanks to you. You’ve given him a reason to attempt to stop drinking for good. He finds himself letting go of alcohol more everyday. 

• Lays on you all night as you both watch Christmas movies. His favourite is “The Year Without a Santa Claus.” 

• His sweater from Medic has small sticky bombs all over it! He wears it every Christmas and makes sure not to get it damaged. 

Heavy

• Beeg man loves cuddles. The whole night is spent cuddling beside an open fire and drinking hot chocolate. 

• Loves telling you about the history of Christmas in Russia. He brought over some traditions that he still does now. He loves sharing them with you and loves it even more if you enjoy it. 

• Bought you reindeer ears because he thinks you’re so cute in them. 

• You paid Demoman to make a small Christmas ornament of Sasha, even though Demo said he didn’t want the money. You gave it to Heavy on Christmas Eve to put on the tree. He loved it! 

• Makes Russian sweets and food for you. He loves doing it every year and always wants you to try new things. 

• When you cook/bake, he’s always behind you making sure you aren’t burning yourself, and will help assist you in the kitchen when things get stressful. 

• The day is mostly tame. He doesn’t engage with Scout and Soldier when they start their snowball battles, he doesn’t like the racket. Relaxing with you and Sasha beside a fire/in your room is perfectly fine with him and he wouldn’t ask for anything more. 

Medic

• Christmas? Why, he has no time for stupid holidays! Or so he tells himself every year. 

• That changed when you both got into a relationship, which forced Medic to branch out and try new things (much to his dismay. he is perfectly fine with being a “hermit,” for your information!) 

• He actually enjoys it, and began to knit Christmas sweaters as a little hobby during the holidays. He knitted his first, of course. It has doves and his bone-saw all over it.

• Yours has stars on it! His reasoning was because you shine so brightly, lighting up his world. As cheesy as that sounds. You wear it even outside Christmas, just to flaunt on how good his knitting was. Anything to boost his already growing ego. 

• Slows on his experiments during the holidays. He grew to enjoy the relaxation time, especially with you. He loves sleeping with you on cold nights, since he’s so “big,” per say. He has a lot of pure muscle that holds a lot of heat, and loves holding you close to him when you’re cold. He’s like a warm water bottle! 

• Lets you dress up his birbs for the holiday. You dressed Archimedes up as a king. Medic now keeps that outfit and pretty much forces you to put it on him every holiday. 

“Look at how cute he is, frau! He looks wonderful, ja?” 

• Medic loves dark chocolate, so you buy him one of those fancy chocolate boxes. He loves them so much and eats them every year, and even enjoys the ones with the orange flavouring in them. 

• He’s not one for too much cuddling, but sleeping together he’s more fond of. He loves holding you and keeping you safe, but also enjoys it when you tuck your head into his neck and make a beautiful sigh of contentment. It makes him feel special. Like God is giving him a second chance with blessing him with this beautiful human. 

Spy

• This French man loves giving you everything you ever asked for during Christmas time. He has the money, of course. 

• You want chocolate? It’s yours. A teddy bear? Yours. A whole night spent on just relaxing with him? It has nothing to do with money, but yes!! 

• This man will get you anything. Literally anything.

• You try your best to get him what he wants (he mostly just wants chocolate), like a fancy watch or a nice suit and tie, but most of the time, you just can’t afford those things. Spy is never angry at this. In fact, he’s perfectly content with getting nothing from you. He tells you this every year, but it hasn’t stopped you from attempting to buy him expensive stuff like he does with you. 

• Really likes white chocolate, and it loves it when you get some for him. He thanks you in French because he’s so happy that he legitimately got something for Christmas, and it was something he likes!

• He’s a bony man, so he wears the sweater Medic made him almost 24/7 during the Winter. You also sleep with him, keeping him warm as well. His sweater has his knife all over it. He will never tell anybody this but you, he loves it dearly. 

• You decided to make a small knife ornament for him to put on the tree. It turned out looking okay, and when you gave it to him he looked like a child who got his favourite toy on Christmas. He doesn’t have the words to explain how much he loves and appreciates you.

• He shows it through his actions instead. Sticking by you a lot, cuddling, romantic kissing, and feather like touches and face holding. Loves it more when you do it to him, this man is touch starved. 

Snoipah

• Not one to celebrate Christmas, really. But is pretty excited to see snow, even though he’s seen it multiple times by now.

• On his side of Australia, it never snowed. It was always too warm. He gets giddy when he sees it. 

• He likes to take you hunting in the snow, or if you’re not into that, you both like to make snowmen and snow forts. He’s fine with either one! 

• His sweater from Medic has owls on it! He likes for you to wear it because it looks too big for you (because it is). 

• Most holiday is spent relaxing in the camper, holding each other and drinking hot cocoa. He likes it when you touch his face and move your hands in his hair. He loves the feeling. This man is also severely touch starved, so he enjoys any intimate moments. 

• He doesn’t get as cold as Spy, for some reason. Sniper has a little more meat on his bones, even if it’s an inch more. He does get pretty cold sometimes and loves it when you hug him and hold him close. He likes feeling your face and holding your hand while you’re sleeping. You do everything in his favour to keep him feeling safe. He can sure as hell do the same. 

• “Ya make m’ all happy insoide, you know that, roight? I hope ya do, Roo. You make m’ loife ten times more special.”


	5. All In a Day’s Work

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Attempted a new change in writing. Let me know what you think! Putting this here instead of making a whole link for it.
> 
> (Sniper X Reader)

The sun sketches itself into the sky, painting the world below it in multicolours of pink and orange. With days like these, you cannot help but imagine what you could achieve if you weren’t working as a mercenary. As you look up into the atmosphere, you notice that the sky is already discolouring into one; a beautiful cyan blue. Clusters of stars are quickly vanishing, the sun taking their spot as the number one star.

The Administrator’s voice echoes throughout the misshaped locker room. “Mission begins in 60 minutes,” then nothing. That silence was soon faded out by another, louder, person. He sits down recklessly beside you, holding a Bonk! Soda on his right and a baseball bat in the left. He looks and you and smiles his contagious overbited smile. You can’t help but smile back.

“How long have ya been sittin’ hea? We got an hour until the mission stahts. You could take a showa, brush ya teeth. Y’know. Basic hygiene?” You give him a look of annoyance and lightly shove him, resulting in Scout letting out a snort of laughter.

“I’m just kiddin’ with ya! Ya smell like a doll, uh... doll.” He blushes and rubs the back of his neck. With a roll your eyes you set out to find the others; probably playing poker or getting fitted for today’s mission.

As you quietly close the locker room door and make your way to the main floor, you spot both Medic and Heavy, chatting just outside the medbay doors. Stopping for a hot second and trying to ease in on the conversation, Medic seems to be talking about the Übercharge and what effects it has on Heavy’s heart. You hear Heavy respond to the anxious German, “нет, Doktor! Heavy is fine. Do not worry so much.” Medic nods his head slowly and affirmingly, obliviously anxious. Without noticing you, Medic sneaks a small kiss to Heavy’s lips, both smiling and blushing.

Not saying anything, but smiling, you walk through the hallway and make it to the kitchen. There, an assortment of your coworkers are playing poker on a worn out bar table. Spy seems to have all the chips, Sniper and Engineer are spitting curses, Soldier is yelling about how “bad” said poker game was, and Pyro is just happy to be there.

Sniper looks up and notices you in the corner and smiles. With the creak of a wooden chair he has already made his way to you, pushing a strand of your hair out of your face. He flushes immediately after, like he was embarrassed. Didn’t he know that you both were already in a relationship?

Sniper finally says something. “Oi there Roo. Good ta see you’re doin’ okay. Tha’ last battle really did a numba on ya. Just wanted ta see if you’re doin’ alright.”

You return a smile and nod. “Medic fixed me up in a jiffy, so it was no problem.” Sniper’s expression fell a little and you added on quickly, “but it’s really nice to know that you care about me so much. I really appreciate it.” His smile returned at full force. Good.

“Mission begins in 20 minutes.”

“Ah, piss,” Sniper replied. “Haven’t even had breakfast yet. You?”

“Nope, I just finished talking with Scout before I got here. I’m sure Engie or someone has made breakfast.”

Before you could even process your surroundings, Sniper had grabbed your hand, leading you to the breakfast bar. You were forced to pick up pace due to him being so stupidly tall, but his features are filled with happiness and that on its own washed away the annoyance.

“Looks like the Spook made breakfast this time,” Sniper starts, looking at you. He takes two plates from the cupboard and hands one to you, absentmindedly placing a piece of toast on his and slowly obtaining the butter from the fridge. “Dunno what it is, though,” he ended, his face covered in an expression of distaste. As you look down to the sustenance below you, you find Spy’s breakfast to be very... bland? In other words, it doesn’t look very appetising.

You were always a picky eater, and seeing this made your stomach churn in an odd way. Telling anyone here about it though, would end up with a lecture about how you shouldn’t be so “picky” with your food. Scout mentioned just holding your nose and gulping the whole thing down, and more times than you’d like to admit you’ve done just that.

Before you knew it, everyone was sitting at the dining room table. You took at this as a queue to sit as well, the conversation filling your ears; a conversation about a battle strategy. Luckily, none of them were talking about the previous mission, but about new weapons and better approaches to ensure a success.

“Ja,” Medic snaps you out of your trance. “Zhat strategy did not vork very vell. Y/N vas stuck in respawn for zree days. Who knows vhat kind ov effects it had on her? I still haven’t got to check..” You immediately tense up. Oh boy.

You protest. “Is that really necessary, Medic? I’m fine, I swear! But the tactic we had was very.. nasty.”

“Ve are still doing experiments, fraülien! I must know if you have tumours, or an infection, or-“

“Alright, alright. I get it. I’ll go through with the experiments. Just to put your mind at ease.” You reply, waving him off. The Administrators voice echoes throughout the compound once again,

“Mission begins in 5 minutes!”

As fast as lighting, everybody raised from their seats in march to the locker room. In the span of five minutes you could give a touch up to your gun, or sharpen the blade on your Bowie. As you were speed walking to the room, Sniper began a conversation.

“Ya gonna stay in the backlines this time, Roo,” he said, having no problem keeping up with you. In a rush he continued, “don’t want cha gettin’ hurt on us again and stayin’ in respawn for three god damn days, ya hear? You scared me, well, all of us, real good. We thought ya weren’t comin’ back.”

You frowned. What happened was in no doubt good. Terrible, actually. You also considered that you weren’t coming back; never going to see his face again. The thought now terrifies you. Sniper seems to notice the shaking of your limbs, especially your arms, and sighs.

“Respawn hardly breaks like that, luv. Oi wouldn’t worry too much bout’ it. Even if it does happen ‘gain, Medic can fix ya roight up, like ya said, in a jiffy.”

“And the chance he can’t?”

“He always could before. Doctor’s smart,” he replied, smiling and grabbing your hand, squeezing it. You smile back halfheartedly, squeezing his hand in return. The thought of not returning is the least of your worries.

You hadn’t even realised you both had arrived at the gear lockers until Sniper put his hand on your shoulder, whispered a “g’day,” and began traveling up to his sniper nest. Grabbing your shotgun, Bowie, and ammo, you head out, preparing for the round of fire that you know for sure will target you.

The mission ended with a success. The Payload was triumphantly pushed to the other side and your team claimed victory. Even Ms. Pauling congratulated the team on this one, surprising us all. You had a few bullet wounds and a deep stab across your left side from a wondering Spy, but nothing Medic couldn’t fix with his Medigun and some stitches.

The lights in the medbay blinded you. Were they always that bright? You cannot remember. Medic welcomed you with a “guten tag,” and ordered you to lay on the medical table. The procedure didn’t take long; five stitches for the stab and a nice, cold tweezer shoved in your skin multiple times to rid of the bullets. The medigun healed everything nicely and you were free to go.

Taking a shower is a first priority. Visiting Sniper a close second. You were sweaty and dusty, your hair greasy, and you felt disgusting. All in the days work of a mercenary, you told yourself as you roughly scrubbed rose scented shampoo into your scalp, a gift from Spy on your otherwise forgotten birthday. The shampoo’s suds were coloured a nice pinkish red, the body wash as well. You remind yourself to thank Spy later and interrogate him on how in god’s name he knew your birthday.

Stepping out of the shower and changing into your clothes you glance at the clock on your stand. ‘8:30’ it read. Perfect timing to grab both you and Sniper dinner, finish it in his camper, and go shoot some night rodents for a bit of funsies. Brushing your hair and teeth you slip on some comfy shoes and make your way to the kitchens to grab supper. It seems like Engie make it this time; some good ol’ chilli with jalapeño peppers. Your favourite! You grab two bowls, one with cheese and the other with sour cream, prepare a plate, thank Engi, and rush out while also being careful on not spilling the chilli.

You made it to Sniper’s camper and were crossed with a huge challenge. Your hands are completely full; any jerky movement would cause the chilli to be lost to the rough, dry, yellow sand. You could bust the door down like a maniac, or scream. Screaming didn’t seem too smart so you take your leg and kick the door as hard as you can, supposedly scaring the poor man inside before he reluctantly opened it, only one eye peeking through the small crack the door created. Once he noticed it was you, however, he slammed it open, almost knocking you backwards, apologising profusely, and then grabbing the tray and leading you inside, still mumbling apologies. You giggle and grab his arm, pulling him down to your height level and kissing him quickly on the lips, leaving him in an jumbled Australian mess.

“Holy Dooley. You’re a quick one, ain’t cha Roo? Sneakin’ a kiss like that while Oi was distracted? Ya Spook,” he joked, grabbing you softly, leaning down to your level, and kissing you passionately on the lips. This one lasted longer, more loving. You liked this one better. As you wrapped your arms around his neck he grabbed your waist, squeezing the round flesh he found. He was whispering about how bloody perfect you were; you whisper in his ear that you’re never going to leave him and he squeezes you harder. Almost like he didn’t want to let go.

And he never had to. You both separated after a hot minute and ate your chilli while sitting on the roof of his van, watching the glowing and twinkling stars. The sun was retreating, the sky colouring to a very dark ocean blue, the stars taking their spots again and reclaiming their position the sun took this morning. The yellow glow colliding with the blue was a glorious sight for the eyes, and put you even more at rest.

You don’t recall falling asleep on Sniper’s shoulder.


End file.
